When I went to the library, I could feel that my spirits had already all gone. I asked myself why my tirin' body could still walk and walk... And actually I am very afraid of bein' sick, as I am fragile towards that. I would feel lonely, depressed and woebegone. I would cry easily. Am I too weak? Yes, I am and I won't deny this fact.
I've borrowed 5 books to read. I hope I can finish them as soon as possible. The first one to be started is
A Holocaust Odyssey
it's a History book which is really my cup of tea. If you have ever read Anne Frank's diary, and you do like it, I think you'll also like the book that I've chosen. Maybe I'll write comments about the book in here afterwards.
I've also received my "Winnie the Pooh"'s email, I thought my letter did give him a great surprise.
I was really riveted by the word he used -- "pine". And I think the one who is pinin' away is me, not him.
Am I able to get back to the right track of my entire life?
I think noone likes to feel down for all the time. We always want to subdue our mounting emotions but we always fail in doin' so too. I remembered that I have once asked my "Winnie the Pooh".
"Don't you feel lonely to be alone?".
"Noone could really escape from loneliness even you've got a partner." He answered.
"For me, love doesn't play an important role in my life, therefore, I can live on my own." ,he added.
Yes, what is the meaning of "to have a partner"? We want to love someone, but, at the same time, we hope to be loved. For me, I know I don't really know how to love a person, however, it's true that I hope to be loved. I know I am the kind of person that can't really get a equilibrium for the matter of love. I am willin' to pay for its heavy cost, but I don't remember that I've to pay for its sadness also. If you put somethin' in the higher priority, the more depression you'll receive when you get it out of control.
How about if you put it in a lower place of your heart? That, in fact, just doesn't work on me as I can't do so at all. I hope to have the greatest happiness , therefore, I am puttin' myself at the greatest risk too. Only if you relieve all your feelings in front of your lover can you have the biggest happiness. I do believe so.
p.s. Dreams are our subliminal thinking. I wanna do that and I succeed in doin' so in the midst of dreamin'. That's y we don't wanna wake up....